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AN IRREAL EXPERIENCE

  I HATE THIS LONELY SHIT. I never thought I'd get like this, but it's true. I've always been a people person. I'm just a big ole people pleaser. I love to make people happy, and I fall in love with people sometimes for no reason just because it's like I'm about to die or something and they're the only person in the world and its so beautiful it makes me want to cry. I'm so sick of putting faith in people, only for them to betray me. Of finding out people were not really present the whole time. With these Portland people, it's a willful indifference. They're checked out! It's so much the opposite of Timothy Leary's dream; I'm so offended that they call this shit woke. Then, from the other side, there are all these faggot perverts on Facebook, posting their sick reels about how trannies killed Charlie Kirk or some shit? What are these people even on? I could understand if it was fucking West Virginia! I'd be like, well, that'...

Eggs Benedict Wong

     I make these little breakfast sandwiches sometimes, when I'm feeling like Eggs Benedict but don't have the energy to poach eggs or make Hollandaise, or when I feel like pizza but it's breakfast time. Crossing the streams can cause a paradox, so never make regular little pizzas or Mexican pizzas before noon.

     They're just toasted English muffins, buttered and topped with fluffy scrambled egg, a tomato, and a small handful of Italian mix cheese. Place that under the broiler in a hot oven for as little as five minutes if your oven is very hot. Always keep an eye on these the first time you make them, because the window between just right and burned is pretty narrow when you have ADHD.

     I typically serve this with a small side salad of tender spinach, kosher salt, EVOO, and fresh squeezed lemon juice. If I don't have fresh, I'll use infused vinegar. You could also serve a small fruit salad or yogurt and berry smoothie. I usually just have a morning mushroom and collagen fortified latte with my good friend.







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